I feel like my life is putting a mask on my face . To be honest , I feel like I'm Running away from all the troubles . I feel like I'm just avoiding and making myself Worst than before .

Until this day this moment this second , I could not forget about Marcus . I really have no idea what kind of curse or seal he placed on me . Everynight since then , I've been thinking of him and it turns to tears . Been taking advises from alots of friends . Did everything yet I still find myself Here in this condition .

I try to make myself busy and even try to make more friends . Thinking that I could somehow find someone to replace him . How naive ...
These days , I wanted to message him but I do not Dare . For I fear i would interupt and make disturbance in his Life . Whenever I saw him appeared online in my list , I only dare to click his window box and that's it . I don't even dare to send any message to him . I've been ignored for 2 weeks already . Why does people always break their promises ? If the promise can't be kept than its better to just keep in your heart . When Promises is Broke , people get Hurt . People get Dissapointed . People get Mad .

I tried to forget this person . I wanted to delete him off my memories . I wanted to hate him . But why ? Why I could not ... instead of forgetting ... the things he said and did to me keeps lingering in my mind . Gosh ... I feel so stupid and lame .

This is nothing right ? There are so much things more outside waiting for me . I'm sure my mother would not want to see me this way .
This afternoon , I saw another butterfly in my house again . Been seeing butterflies flying around lately . Though I'm not someone who is superstition , but people said that it would be my mum then . Hehe ... if it's real , I'm so happy . =) hehe ...

I'm really freaking bored now . I wish my new car will come soon !! I just wanna drive away from home . Go get a job or whatever . Meet some friends . Hmm ... if I keep staying in the house alone , things will get really bad . All the bad stuffs will come in my mind .... Phew ~

Oh ya , I haven't buy my new clothes yet . Hopefully tomorrow can go buy le . Chinese New Year is coming soon . My brother invited me to join them for Penang trip durin the 3rd day of chinese new year . Hehe ....